Photo: Thomas J Gross and Lizbeth Benaim aka Elizabeth Ben Naim.
The documented facts submitted to the courts speak volumes...
Email below written by Lizbeth Benaim November 13, 2010.
Thank you very much for your concern.
The reason I was worried was about Tom and his thought of committing suicide, I have asked again my brother and again my friend Sonia, and again my nephew, and they all told me again, that what he said was that he was going to commit suicide. This is not the first time he said. I think that usually people who say that, will not do that. people who do it, dont say it. they just do it .
The huge problem between him and me is not the issue. It is a work of both of us.
I have been very ugly with him, It is true . But only because in reaction of his behaviours , his furies, his lack of respect towards me, towards my family and my friends. All my friends have been causes for Tom Gross to get furious to them , not because of them, because of his failures at work I think.
It is not okay that I have reacted . Maybe I had to go away or to shut up.
To put the word physically between parenthesis, to express the anger, is not correct. The word physically expressing anger must be pointed out and in bold.
Tom has expressed violence in his behaviour towards me since the very first beginning. He has lied to me from the beginning in many aspects.
But I knew that I loved him and I believed I was going to find the way to get explanations and to trust him.
He doesn t care to get furious - and not because of me - in front of anybody. He screamed to my youngest nephew at that time 11 with his friend, the two boys were white of scare. I dont know why he screamed. the boys were very nice in the car, we took them to some place, and Tom just out of the blew, screamed at them. It was sunday, he was not working, it was a beautiful day.
I have so many episodes like this one that it hurts me to remember them.
The worst was when we came back with Yulia , for the very first time. It was the two full first days with her, and we were in the plane flying to Israel.
She behaved like an angel after being for two full days with us , for the first time, and being in a plane, to Tel Aviv, for the first time.
Imagine the situation: A plane full of non israelies, non jewish people. I don t want to precise the origine of the people but you can guess exactly who were in this plane, only tourists from the foreign country coming to Israel . And I repeat Yulia was an angel.
I was amazed how well she was playing, sitting, eating, just perfect. After all this odyssee for her, fifteen minutes before landing, she started to get tired and cried just a little bit.
Result: Tom got mad, he got furious. My God, I was blue, red, and I was shivering. Believe please, I was shivering.
Tom J Gross stood up and got furious because of the little crying of Yulia : he said in a loud voice, and he was red, in the middle of all these people, who all of them stare at him: "what is this wild child! look at her hair she looks wild, I have two sons, Eytan Gross and Dror Gross, and they have never been crying like that , ... (which I personnally doubt)
I thought that perhaps one of the person we met during all the process might be in this plane, and that hearing Tom that furious, our dream, my dream to arrive to Israel with Yulia was over in the same plane.
(Coincidences dont scare me. coincidence has been part of my life: the lawyer that has evicted my sister from her house , because of her husband, was in one of the trips I made to Spain, sitting in front of me).
Tom with his fury for nothing, for a very natural and normal cry of a tired baby, got the most beautiful and unexpected smile of Yulia, after I calmed her down, and she called her : "papa". I cried after hearing Yulia calling him Papa.
This is the most scaring moment of my like I think.
Another episode: Tom was that close to throw a fan (a monted one with leg, so a big item) to my niece, 19, at that time, who came from the army to visit me and sleep over. It was hot, so she took the fan that was in Tom's working room, he was out for a while, so she took it. Then as she is so nice, she went to put it back but she forgot that the fan was in Tom s working room and she put it back in the dinig room where it was usually. Tom came back from outside, restarted to work and after a while, I guess either becasue of the pression of work, he even did not notice that he did not have a fan on, after a while, he came red red red, with the fan up in his hands looking for my niece and almost going to throw her the fan in her face. Why: because she did not put it back in his room where usually it was not.
My niece cried of fear. I fainted because of the situation. They were two other persons that were witnesses, a young cousin and a friend of my niece.
I have many many, many situations like that.
Apart the slap he gave me right in my face, in front of Yulia. What do say about that.
Why , because I was upset that he did not tell me that he asked my brother David, to let him 5000 $ , without telling me nothing. My brother does not have money to land. When somebody comes to my brother for money, he goes to the bank, ask for a loan, give to the needy person, and does not care if he gets back the money . He assumes that the person could pay and he is the one who pays . My brother has been warrant for so may new inmigrants in Israel, for rent payments, etc, specially with ethiopans and argentinians, that have never pay him back.
You must think how wierd, she does not tell me about her, about her situations of anger, of fury. believe , my anger has been in reaction of Tom s behaviours. I am a very quiet and balanced person. I would never say to anybody : you have a big nose. It is not a big problem, not a problem at all, but it is a detail with a lot of meaning.
Well, Tom Gross told me that I have a big nose just as a comment.
For me that means, that he does not care about other people feelings.
Lets smile about that last comment of the big nose, , and put everything here.
Well , sorry for all the "debacle" .
Please, I beg you to concentrate in Tom s idea of suicide, and not in our marriage. For that , we will, if he wants, go to a cousellor. I definitely think we need one.
The financial situation is bad and he is not improving or working on it. He is working hard to pay back the loans that he never told me neither.
I only care that he is not doing what he said.